No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
