HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
