maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
