once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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