woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
