I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
