Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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