Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
