I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
worst night to have a conscience
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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