Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Say something about gay babies.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
