I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
