my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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