My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
The power of my boobs compel you
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
