Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
