Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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