9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
