She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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