Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
