used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
