it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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