During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Randomize
