She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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