help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
