the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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