Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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