just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
