I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
