similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
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