mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
