Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
