Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
