i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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