Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Hello my rib-scented angel!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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