Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
