You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
