a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Too much gin, very little bucket
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
