just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
