we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
