butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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