I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He did a backflip because drugs
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