Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
