Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
