hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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