so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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