So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
