woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
