I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize