Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
