i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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