Fine. I'll sleep in my office
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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