She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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