What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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