Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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