Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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