I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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