On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
